The Way They Drink Their Coffee...

in Malaysia and Singapore: not very hot from a very fine ground in a pot that brews all day, deadly bitter, poured carefully over a thick layer of cream and sugar that you stir into it.

in Belgium: from a stovetop machina, with ice cream.

in the Netherlands: like the French, but with Stroopwaffeln instead of sugar.

in New Orleans: with chicory and a beignet.

in China: any damn way you can imagine it. Usually bitter and poorly-brewed with lots of sugar. Why aren't you drinking tea, you masochist?

in Boston: at Dunkin Donuts.

in Bali: from a powdery grind spooned into a dry cup, over which is poured hot-not-boiling water. Milk is optional. Leave the mud at the bottom of the cup.

in Austin ca. 1994: Americano.

in Hungary: like Italians: a wet espresso served in a demitasse with a little sugar.

in Taiwan: at Starbuck's.

in Nebraska: percolated or drip, one teaspoon of canned grounds per cup.

in Berlin: with many many cigarettes.

in Wyoming, Montana, and the Dakotas: Folger's automatic drip, strong and dark, if you're lucky it's from this afternoon's pot and not this morning's. You better put cream in it.

in Twin Peaks: black as midnight on a moonless night.