Nice Guys Don’t Get Laid (1997)

We had gotten down to our underwear when she started crying.

What’s the matter, I said.

This is just too intense, she said.

Hey, I said, That’s cool.

She disentangled herself from my legs. She said, It’s not you at all. It’s the whole situation, y’know...me, Tony...y’know...

Hey, don’t worry, I said, pulling a sheet around my shoulders. I totally understand.

You are too good, she said.

She wiped her eyes with a corner of my sheet, making a snuffle sound. The crying was over mostly, now. It was a pretty brief cry. I rolled onto my side and thought, maybe I should close those curtains. The blue streetlight cast double shadows from the tree onto the bare wall. A little cold air passed in through the crack in the window, smelling like the pulp mill and rain.

She slid under the sheet with me, pressing her face into my chest. I put one arm across her back, smoothed her hair behind her ears with the other.

After a little while she shut her eyes and sighed. My back began to hurt from that thing we were doing earlier. I said, Wow, my back really hurts.

Roll over, she said.

I said, Okay, and I did. She rubbed my back for a while; it hurt while she was doing it, but when she was finally done, I felt loose. Stretched out. Man, I said, I feel better.

Yeah, you were way tense.

I rolled onto my back. Her hair fell around my face, her nose inches from mine. I said, So what are you going to do now?

She said, You mean with Tony?

Yeah, with Tony. I mean, you’re obviously not too ready to settle down with him right now.

I gotta pee, she said. Where’s my t-shirt?

Just put on mine, I said.

She sighed again. You are such a nice guy.

Yeah, I said, but nice guys don’t get laid.

She shut the bathroom door. The water gurgled in the pipes when she flushed the toilet. She opened the door and stood in the doorway. The bathroom light shone around the curve of her hip underneath my Minutemen t-shirt.

Okay, she said, The last bus for South Wilamette leaves at eleven-twenty. Let’s go. She slid her underwear off with a wiggling motion. Let’s go.