Short answer: twelve.

Last week someone asked me how many bikes I own and have owned. I couldn’t give a straight answer. So I made a spreadsheet.

I’ve never owned more than four bikes at once.

The average bike spends 3.6 years in my possession. At any given time since college I’m likely to have 2.7 bikes in my quiver.

Unlike a lot of bikey people, I don’t collect bikes. Among my bikey friends, four is a pretty small number. My habit since about 2003 was to own two-plus bikes; the “two” is usually a commuter and a faster road bike; the “plus” is usually a mountain bike and/or beater that I seldom ride. Usually the “plus” bike was really cheap; perhaps as cheap as “free.” Free bikes always seem like a good idea but I never ride them.

My bikes are well-loved. I rode in a charity century this weekend; every time I do this I’m impressed at how nice many enthusiasts’ bikes are. Clean chains, no scratches or chips or cable rub, shiny saddles that aren’t peeling. I think some people have very nice carbon fiber bikes that they only ride on special occasions. I’m not like that. My bikes either get ridden several times a week in all weather or, apparently, not at all.

The rains have started.

I like this. This is why I moved to Oregon. I moved here for the cool and gray and damp and peaceful. And the seafood. Everything is better in Oregon in the “winter:” the beaches are empty, the trails are empty, you can go snowshoeing, less traffic when I ride my bike. All the wimpy people who dislike moistness are indoors now, at Powell’s or McMenamin’s. Which are also better in the “winter.”

It is, however, very dark. People here are pale. And let’s not kid ourselves: it starts raining in October and it doesn’t stop until about July. June if we’re lucky.

The really great thing about having grown up in Nebraska is that I have extremely wide latitudes for what I consider “bad weather.” Nebraska gets Florida summers and Alaska winters. The lousiest winter days in Oregon (sleety snow/rain driven hard from the southwest) are about like a typical March morning in Nebraska.

Oregon gets like five or six days in the summer where the mercury tops 90 degrees. But it’s a dry heat.

In 13 years in Oregon, I’ve never lived in a place with air conditioning, or insulation, or double-paned windows. Or bug screens.

Oregon shorts Fall a little bit though.