My mother called this morning to wish me happy Father’s Day. I had plumb forgot Father’s Day this year (as with most years, sorry Dad). My ungrateful son did not get me the traditional Father’s Day Golf Tie, the little ingrate.

The man on the radio reminded me that I have an especial treat for Father’s Day this year, with not one but two historic sporting events to witness. Tyger Wood is going to win the Stanley Cup and the L.A. Lakers will battle the Massachusetts Celtics for the Triple Crown or something. I know what I’ll be watching on TV this afternoon! Just as soon as we get cable. And a TV.

Now that I’m a dad I need to erase 37 years of indifference to any sporting activity requiring a ball. Or Orion’s gonna be a sissy, right?